FWIW you shouldn't be apologizing for this thread, why take responsibility if it illicited inflammatory responses?! We are all adults and can take responsibility for whatever we each write...that's not your responsibility to shoulder. I spoke my mind honestly just as others did...granted some of us simply don't agree, it's NOT your responsibility if people don't agree.
Also, the way I see it the marriage you want IS attainable....you have just been putting the cart before the horse. I do truly feel there are issues that you can help your wife with directly (already stated what they are so I won't rehash) that can have a HUGE impact on the intimacy in your marriage.
(((Chrome))) I'm so sorry to hear you've been having health issues, it sounds like you are taking the situation seriously and I'm glad. I so empathize with your position in your M. When we have serious problems in our Rs, it has a way of seeping into our entire lives, shadowing everything we do. This may sound silly, but I always try to remember what my Mom used to say to me when I was young-that something might seem like the end of the world right now, but in time, it will pass. I have my whole life ahead of me. That still holds true and although our issues are bigger right now, especially when we're talking about our kids' lives and happiness as well, but even still, in the big scheme.....there is more to our lives than our partners and our M. Sometimes we have to let go a little of our notions of how things are supposed to be, whether that means we have to bend our minds a little to make our M work or whether that means we have to bend our minds a little to let go of the horrible fears that accompany walking away from something that isn't fulfilling. Chrome, you have what it takes no matter which direction you go. If you believe that, honestly believe in yourself, I think some of your stress will subside. The world keeps turning, people heal, people grow, people move on. Kids do too so try to let a little of the stress and responsibility you feel for their happiness subside a bit as well. We all make our way-believe it.
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
