Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums THE SEX-STARVED MARRIAGE W moving out & says that it's permanent - Part 2

I had to take a break from posting this weekend. Sometimes you just gotta walk away from it....

I'm really not having a good feeling. I'm trying to have patience, but I think I waited too late. She really was firm Friday saying that it wasn't going to work out. It's amazing how "unbending" she is. I think her friends have empowered her and she feels confident in making the move.

I don't want to give up, but when do you have to realize that it's just not going to happen? I'm not one who quits. It's probably a fault I have. I just don't quit, ever.

I guess I'm going to have to put my life back together and move on. I really am afraid.

I'm going to a gym today to find out about a membership. I'm going to work on me. I've lost a lot of weight, probably 15+ lbs. I'm going to get healthy and looking good, for me. And so I'll look hot with a flat tummy for whatever the future holds. Everthing could workout even better than it has been. Someone younger and able to have a few kids. Who knows, it could be a lot of fun dating again. (I can't believe I just said that.)

2in2, as Clinton said, "I feel your pain". However, I really mean it.

I haven't had time today to read thru all the post since my last one, but I will soon. Thanks everyone for their support!

If there are things around the house that "remind" you, perhaps you can pack them away for the time being, or at least put them somewhere else so you don't get those reminders everytime you walk pass them. Sometimes you just have to rearrange things and it will make you feel better. A change of scenery, so to speak.

If you feel like crying - cry. Crying cleanses the soul. It is ok to cry you know. It shows you have feelings and its REALLY good therapy. Unfortunately, our society doesn't allow for men to cry as much as it should. However, don't allow it to take over your life either. Have a good cry and then move forward

I know it feels like the whole world has abandoned you now, but that is just your own self pity (to some degree) you are hurt and want to be comforted. That is normal. Talk to the people here. We can only give you virtual hugs but its better than nothing and at least we can understand your pain, unlike a lot of people around you that simply don't understand what you are going through

2in2,

Stay away from her family and friends. I made that mistake. Even the friends you think you can count on. They'll just tell her everything and it'll just make you look weaker.

My MIL told my wife everytime I called, even when she said she wouldn't. My MIL likes me, I think, but she'll always love my wife best.

My W had a friend that she grew up with. She move across the country to our area with her H several years ago. I thought her H and I were really good friends. A few years ago I even hired him to work for me. Gave him a real break into the field. He really didn't know much about the IT business at that time. Apparently, he's been telling his W everything I say and then she tells my W. I also caught him in a few lies. People really should learn how to keep their story straight, if they're going to lie so much.

Also, your friends really don't understand what you're going thru. And they really don't want to get in the middle, even when they say they'll help.

Find a good counselor and see them. Get some AD's, I'm on Lexapro, Wellbutrin, and Proprannol. See if your C has a group meeting you can attend. My C lets me go to it for free. Also, try the DivorceCare.com program. They have local meetings. I haven't been yet, but will be going on Wed. A friend of mine went thru it and says that he met some of his now "best" friends.

Just like the old saying - you have to walk a mile in someones mocassins to REALLY understand what they are going through

Thanks, Heywyre!
And yea, I do tend to get caught up in self-pity. But thanks for the virtual hugs. 12_51, it's good to hear from you. You must be hurting like hell (I know the feeling well!) But keep posting and keep talking. That's what is pulling me through this day. Although I FEEL like giving up, I won't. So 12_51, if I don't give up, you can't either! Imay see my W for a short while tonight, so maybe I'm worked up over that. I'd like to get her alone, and hug the stuffing out of her! We'll see, maybe I can sneak a few kisses in. But I won't count on it.

Don't push it 2in2 - if she initiates - fine, but I think you will just set yourself for failure if you pursue

What is the meeting for? Anything specific - perhaps we can help you out in that department

12-51, how did the conversation go with your wife that you asked us to pray about?

Actually, I just have to pick up some grain for our "son", Walter. Walter is a pygmy goat that has been with us since we had the house. Since my wife runs a stable, and lives at the "office" now (it's like a small efficiancy apt.), I have to run to get the food. It's only about 15 min. away, but now it feels like it's at the other end of the earth. But I have no intention of pushing anything. She may not even be ther when I get there. My W doesn't know I'm coming, but she has said in the past I am welcome to stop whenever I want. Actually, I'll be heading out in about 5 min., so catch you later on the boards. Thanks, all for the support!

We'll all be rooting for ya!!

Tomorrow, first thing, you should call your GP's office, ask to speak to the triage nurse, and tell them you really need to see the Dr. sooner -- like "today." Mention that you think you may need to be prescribed an AD, your counselor told you as much and others have too...and, no, you're not thinking of hurting yourself (assuming you aren't), but really see no point in waiting a week for some relief.

If it's a good office, they'll take care of you and fit you in. If they balk, then you should find an office that will help. If the GP is not empathetic when you see him/her, get the prescription and start looking for another Dr.

If in fact you are clinically depressed, then there is a good chance medications of some sort will help you immensely. Treat it like a disease, and get some help. You'll have yourself to thank for it someday.