I just wanted to check back in and let you know that a major turnaround has occurred, and I am still thinking long and hard about next steps. Last Thursday, I got home from work and my husband said he needed to talk to me, something had been eating away at him. I assumed it was another thing I'd done wrong (in his mind) and braced for a lecture. If you want to see the whole story, I had posted it in the newcomers forum (look for my name SamCatMom and you'll find it).
Long story short, he has had a major change of heart, said he understands now how he has contributed to our problems, how he has not been the best father and husband he can be, etc, etc.
He said very clearly that he believes we can repair our marriage to the point where it's better than it's ever been, but he'll understand if I can't go back there.
Anyway, just wanted to say that your comments about actually going through with it is a whole lot different than talking about it, well, you were right. He said that when the appraisal on our home came back and I said it was time to talk about the buyout, it all really hit him. So, it seems that my focusing on my life and my daughter's life had the desired effect. I just need to figure out if I can put myself out there again. I still love him, I really do, but I am gunshy about whether he's going to have another "change of heart" in a few months. Know what I mean?
Anyway, I feel fortunate that we see to have bee given a second chance, so now I need to move slowly and smartly to make sure we do things right ... if I decide I can do this. I don't see what choice I have, if we have this possibility of preserving our family and making it even better.
He sounds so much like himself now, it's a little scary. Like the cold, distant person he'd become has checked out for good. God, I hope so.
Tell your husband fine. He doesn't need to go to marriage counseling. Ask for him for a weekend and then you'll leave him alone if that is what he wants. Get him to Retrouvaille. This is WAY better than Marital Counseling.
