Hey guys -- most of you know that H is deployed for a year and I'm exploring in my head the idea of sending him a "what I'd like to be doing to you right now" email. This would be out of character for me prior to D bomb, but as I've said in other posts, I stepped out of the box a lot in this area.
Soooo, maybe I used to have a bit of the M/W syndrome backwards like DIY (I think) was talking about in Hey's thread, so I'm a bit nervous about how H will react and/or think.
What do YOU guys think?
I guess part of me hopes that this would open up a different type of communication w/ him. I'm maybe hoping that he will quit thinking of me just as his W who is at home taking care of his kids and start seeing me as the W he loves and wants to come home to. The W who really did the tea bag thing on him and no, that wasn't just a dream -- totally out of character for me !! Does that make sense? I'm really trying!!!!
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
HELP!!! Will I ever feel like my H is MINE again? Will I ever get over the feeling that he shared himself w/ OW (plural) and I'm constantly trying to dig myself out of the hole of feeling like I constantly need to be better than I feel like I am? Will I ever get over feeling like I'm constantly trying to prove MYSELF as being worthy?
I know in my mind that the A's were HIS issues, but I can't quit feeling like I am worthless or not enough and never will be.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Cadesmom, you have to work on being a you that you can be proud of, and worry less about the part of your identity you get from your husband.
His job is to show you that he was wrong and that he thinks you are the best wife a guy could have.
You have always been "good enough". You were before you married him, you are now.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
