I confronted her out of anger, pain, frustration, rage and who knows what else.
I was looking out for me, I was done, she'd beat the crap out of me all weekend, she was hellbent on divorce, wouldn't let up, I didn't have a tongue left to bite. I'd suspected based on her changes in attitude, changes in her talking about this guy, communication with this guy that she might have something more than friendship going on for some one of the opposite sex. On top of that she keeps mentioning how many affairs her brother has had and his wife and him are still together. Plus she'd just told me she is getting her boobs done, after she'd planned and paid for it, fully knowing I wouldn't support her doing that.
Unfortunately if she is sleeping with someone else it is a huge issue to me, most likely a deal breaker, but I'm not entirely sure, I've already been pushed to the breaking points a few times and somehow still held on to my love for her. I still have a sick feeling in my stomach about this txt msg, I'm not sure what to believe, but thinking of her with anyone else makes me want to puke.
I'm actually puzzled in someways because if she wants out so badly and is trying to get me to let go of her odds are if she is having an affair I'd be done, she'd be free. So unless she is hiding it to keep me from using it as motivation on my part to screw her over it the divorce or just trying to somehow protect herself, I don't know. If I was her and was having an affair and was happy with someone else I wouldn't be telling me that I just don't want to be married to anyone, please let me go so I can date other men. She even told me at one point the reason she is pushing for the divorce is to date other men, she already has 99% freedom and that is the last piece. If she is going to cheat she doesn't need a divorce to do it. Anyhow just my thoughts, I'm sure none of it means anything in the reality I live it tho'. I still figure something is going on, even if she was telling the truth, why would she be sending that to some guy along with "miss u" it still burns me up inside.
Also, she is a hot 51 yr old that makes a ton of money and would have no problem finding someone, I'm sure her new boobs are part of that plan. That is one reason she wanted to go now because if she waits until the kids are gone she'll be 56 and less likely to find "some rich guy to take care of her so she can sit on her ass."
In the end I confronted her because I want to know what is going on so I can make decisions about my life. She is willing to suddenly go to marriage counselling, maybe it is because she wants to lay all this stuff out on the table with someone else in the room so I don't explode, who knows, but her last comments were "I can't promise anything, but I'll work on this and see what happens." Guess we'll see... No doubt that snooping hurts but it is either be dumb and miserable or informed and even more miserable. Unfortunately I have a tendency to what to know everything, I don't like no knowing, even if it hurts me, I need to regulate that better tho' for self preservation.
Thanks for you comment, I need all the help I can get, -JDK
