Overall my PMA is as good as can be expected. Much to my astonishment, I often find I am in a better mood as an LBS than is my sullen, moody, angry MLC wife. At these times I have to remind myself that she wants this and I don't. You often would not be able to tell from her moods that she has chosen all of this nonsense.
I am a bit forlorn today. The concreteness of W's impending move is impossible to deny today, what with furniture disappearing and such. I'm going to eat dinner, exercise, play a bit of guitar, maybe catch a flick and talk to a friend. Then I'll hit the sack for my mandatory 4 hours of sleep leading to the 4am wake up with my heart pounding. Then I'll roll around in bed alone, resting, missing my wife, thinking about the future, thinking about letting go, thinking about my kids, thinking about the Buddhist stuff which says I shouldn't be thinking so much, etc. Then the sun will rise, my son will rise, then my daughter, and life will begin again.
This is not what I have chosen. It's chosen me. So I will try to learn from it. No one knows the outcome. I'll keep taking it one day at a time. And with your support and help, we'll all make it through this somehow.
-SH
"Now some kind of man, he can't do anything wrong. If I see him I'll tell him you're waiting." ---Lowell George
